LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHINGđ
We need to stop asking the wrong questions about assault
Hi you!
Todayâs newsletter is a tough but necessary read. Itâs about silence. About blame. About ignorance. About how we talk (or donât talk) about abuse of our rights even in the most subtle of waysâespecially in our cultures where obedience and respect is praised over truth
Letâs dig in
Spin the Colour Wheel
"Youâre either right or youâre wrong. And when you are, it is not their right to take what is yours." - Gbemileke, 2025
What is left of a person after something is taken from them?
For better context:
This issue explores that questionâthrough real words, raw reactions, and uncomfortable truths.
Now letâs look at some categories of people:
1. The âVictim Blamersâ
Thereâs a special category of people whose words do more damage than silence. Letâs call them what they are.
(Uni babes connect)
Glorious in their insensitivity, they say the quiet part out loud. They mock, they dismiss, they label.
And honestly? Thatâs still subtle compared to this:
2. Facebook People
You be the judge
I have no words. but maybe you do.
What do we make of a society where people casually joke about abuse? where questions of what she wore, what she did or did not do, how she did not obey at once to protect her admission still outweigh what he did?
3. The Bright Side
Not all is bleak. There are peopleâsome of whom I knowâwho now speak.
Not out of bravery alone, but out of recognition.
âIt happened to you too?â
On this side, youâd find me.
And maybe, if youâre ready, youâd find yourself too.
Donât you think that itâs crazy but then, also understandable that people do not realize the gravity of what has been done to them, until they find out what it really was - assault
I hope the first thing that came to your mind wasn't ârape.â
If it was, Iâd be forced to put you among the ignorant ones who donât even ask what truly happened.
Because thatâs where real harm begins: in the questions we forget or refuse to ask.
What is all of this about?
The buzz started with Khadijat and it doesnât end there because they now know that we will not be silent or be silenced.
At the first âtake off your earringsâ to which she answered âwhy?â because she honestly had no idea as to why (this is where our specimen A-1st category found fault in her)â the next thing was âgive me your ID Cardâ and on her defying this order, Man oâwar members were ordered to hold her down and search for her Student Identification card wherever it is on her body. She protested against this manhandling/assault to the point of unconsciousness which was when they stopped.
What happened to taking her to the schoolâs disciplinary office? Or pausing to explain why she should take off her earrings? What exactly happened to adhering to the same Studentsâ Handbook they so much preach about and hold students against? What happened to delaying her for her exams (I meannnn, you have soooo much power, why not use it that way? Yes, YOU!, sorry⌠not you. Power was so untamed that they had to resort to physical assault?)
Forget all of this.
She wasnât in any wrong to ask âWhy?â but weâre Nigerians, so it was âdisrespectfulâ
As students and Nigerians in general, we have every right to ask âWhy am I being punished? Why am I being asked to pull over? Why are you searching me?â and when weâre at fault, we surrender then to whatever punishment the laws of the school or government has set to be meted out when weâre at fault in these things
Maybe we actually need to re-read this handbook, to be re-informed as to what extents the power of school staff or officials get to.
Maybe they need to channel some of their infrastructure money into getting metal detectors so the security woman at e-centre stops fondling my breasts in the name of searching and also intoâŚ.(strengthening their website of course)
IT ENDS WITH US?
Not a plea but an opportunity, the movement has started, to join or not to join, it is all in your hands
Your Voice Matters
What do you think?
Reply to this newsletter, share your thoughts, and help keep the conversation alive. Till next timeâ¤ď¸












10/10
This is how to address an issue