Do you like surprises? Tear a sheet of paper!
Why Every Department Has That One Lecturer Who Hates Joy
What’s up guyyyy? 😭
Every department has that one lecturer.
Not two. Not three. One specific human being whose life mission is to humble students.
You don’t even need to hear their full name. Once someone says it, the whole class reacts:
“Ah.”
“That man?”
“God abeg.”
Let’s talk about them.
1. The Attendance Is 70% of Your Grade Lecturer
This one doesn’t joke with attendance.
Miss one class? Problem.
Miss two? You’re now a suspect.
They’ll stand in front of the class and say:
“Some of you don’t take this course seriously.”
Sir. We are trying. Life is happening.
And the funniest part?
Even when you attend, you’re not safe.
Because attendance alone is not enough. You must also look attentive.
2. The “No Late Submission Under Any Circumstance” Lecturer
Deadline is 11:59pm.
You submit 12:01am.
Congratulations. You have failed morally.
No empathy. No extensions. No room for explanation.
You can write: “Sir, there was no light, no network, and my laptop died.”
They will reply:
“You should have planned ahead.”
Ahead of NEPA?
3. The Surprise Test Specialist
You enter class peacefully.
Next thing:
“Bring out a sheet of paper.”
Your heart drops. Your soul leaves your body.
You start asking yourself: “What did we do last class?”
“Did I even attend last class?”
Now you’re writing a test based on distant memories and vibes.
4. The “My Course Is the Only Course” Lecturer
This one believes their course is your life purpose.
Assignment today.
Test next week.
Presentation next two weeks.
Meanwhile, you have:
5 other courses
3 deadlines
and a fragile mental state
But to them, their course is the center of the universe.
5. The Confusion Generator
They teach for one hour.
You leave the class knowing less than you knew before.
You read your notes later and see:
arrows
circles
random words
no understanding
And when you ask questions, they say:
“It’s very simple.”
Simple for who???
6. The “I Don’t Smile” Lecturer
You’ve never seen them laugh. Ever.
No jokes.
No light moments.
Just vibes of strictness and silent judgment.
Even when someone tries to be funny, the class just… dies.
Because nobody wants to risk it.
7. The Result Withholder
You write the test.
Weeks pass.
Months pass.
No results.
You don’t know if you passed, failed, or should start preparing for resit.
Peace of mind? Gone.
As much as we drag them, these lecturers somehow:
make students take things seriously (even if it's “Font size: 12, Times New Roman, single line spacing”)
force consistency
and lowkey prepare you for real-world pressure
But must it be with this level of… intensity? 😭
They stress, confuse, push you and slightly ruin your peace.
And somehow, at the end of the semester, you survive.
Barely.
And next session, a new set of students will meet them and just like you, they'd say:
“Ah.”
“That man?”
“God abeg.”
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Until next gist,
Gbemi from 10.8.8 Africa. ✨
😂😂
"God abeg oh" real asf